Sober Sunrise - AA Speaker Podcast

I Didn't Have a Long Drinking History, I Had a Long Hell History - AA Speaker - Pasha R.

Pasha used to hide in a closet dreaming of Vermont because she thought God was there, then found out years later that the God she was looking for had been reaching her through AA.
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Pasha opens this talk scared in a bathroom, trying to calm herself down before stepping in front of the room, then reaches back to the child who hid in a closet and dreamed of Vermont as a place where God might be waiting. She thought she belonged in Al-Anon, landed in treatment, and ended up in a Fort Lauderdale halfway house where her bed had burned before she arrived and rain hit the couch she slept on. Through structure, sponsorship, the Big Book, a Third Step prayer on the beach, motherhood, nursing, and the slow work of becoming herself, Pasha shares how AA gave her the key to the prison she had been living in.
Pasha R. from Hinesburg, VT speaking at Florida Roundup in Miami Beach, FL - March 18th 1993Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

Do the Stitches and Leave the Patterns Up to God - AA Speaker - Tim H.

Tim left Louisville in 1966 as an all-state basketball player with a college scholarship, then came home four years later carrying a lie only his mother knew.
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In this three-part Vancouver men’s retreat talk from 2009, Tim shares how alcohol took over the life of a Kentucky basketball player who once thought the plan was college, law school, Congress, and maybe even the White House. Instead, he came home from school living a lie, became a teacher and coach who could barely show up, lost credibility with his family, and spent years starting over until April 12, 1990, when an AA meeting directory in his desk finally became the way out. Tim’s story moves from ego, dishonesty, and broken relationships into sponsorship, family healing, daily step use, and the simple instruction that changed his life: do the stitches and leave the patterns up to God.
Tim H. from Louisville, KY speaking at the 21st Annual AA Fall Mens Retreat in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada - September 19th 2009Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

The Fifth Step Is Not a Confession - AA Speaker - Chris S.

Chris thought his first Fifth Step meant reading someone every ugly thing he already knew about himself, until the Big Book showed him that inventory was supposed to reveal the pattern underneath it all.
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Chris opens up Step Five by admitting his first attempt was basically a life story, a shame dump, and a walk in the park with a sponsor who mostly wanted to walk his dogs. Later, after learning how to do inventory from the Big Book, he found out Step Five was not about confessing every bad thing he already knew. It was about seeing the exact pattern underneath his resentments, fears, and conduct so he could start getting free. With blunt humor and no patience for overthinking, Chris makes the case that AA is not a debating society - it is a program of action.
Chris S. from New Vernon, NJ talking about step 5 at a Big Book study in Winston-Salem, NC - 2010Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 
 

Going to Meetings and Not Drinking Doesn't Treat Alcoholism - AA Speaker - Paul M.

Paul got sober in 1947, spent his first year convinced he had the program figured out, and then a friend told him he hadn't missed something in the program - he'd missed the whole program.
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Paul shares from nearly six decades sober with old-timer humor, Navy stories, professional wrestling, and a hard message about what actually treats alcoholism. He talks about getting sober in 1947, hearing Bill Wilson speak, making delayed amends, reworking inventory, and watching people change through honest fifth steps and direct restitution. At 83, Paul is still working the steps every week and making the case that meetings are good, but the steps are the program.
Paul M. from Chicago, IL speaking at a half-way house fundraiser in Chicago, IL - May 14th 2005Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

I Got Sober and Accidentally Became a Service Junkie - AA Speaker - Andrew W.

Andrew came into AA feeling awkward, young, and afraid of being seen, then found that service gave him a way to belong without having to become somebody else.
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Andrew shares about getting sober at 17, learning to live without alcohol as his solution, and slowly finding his place in AA through sponsorship, meetings, amends, and service. With dry humor and a deep love for the fellowship, he talks about general service, corrections correspondence, carrying the message, and how showing up for AA gave him far more than the relief he first came looking for.
Andrew W. from Missoula, MT speaking at the 60th Gopher State Roundup in Bloomington, MN - May 25th 2013Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

The Book Gets Bigger Every Time I Read It - AA Speaker - Charlie P.

Charlie loved AA from the start, but eventually learned that meetings, friends, and fellowship could not replace the spiritual experience the book was pointing him toward.
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Charlie shares with humor and Big Book conviction about getting sober, drifting on fellowship alone, and later realizing that outwardly looking fine was not the same as staying spiritually fit. He talks about sponsorship, working the steps from the book, getting honest about what was blocking him, and finding new life in carrying the message to other alcoholics.
Charlie P. from Austin, TX speaking at the Bridge to Shore group in Austin, TX - January 1st 2006Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

I Borrowed My Sponsor's God Until I Found My Own - AA Speaker - Shelly S.

Shelly thought she had only handed God the drinking problem, until one long day in the steps showed her how much of her life she was still trying to manage herself.
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Shelly shares about getting sober young, falling in love with AA before fully working the program, and the day her sponsor walked her through the steps fast enough to save her life. With sharp Big Book experience, funny real-life details, and a deep focus on action, Shelly talks about inventory, amends, sponsorship, and learning that God could handle far more than she was willing to hand over.
Shelly S. from Portsmouth, NH speaking at the 70th "Old Grandad" Conference in Hot Springs, AR - August 20th 2010Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

They Told Me I'd Never Feel Love - AA Proved Them Wrong - AA Speaker - Wayne B.

Wayne spent five years drinking his way through AA meetings before his sponsor casually mentioned the program works better if you don't drink - and what happened next almost got one of them killed.
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Wayne was living in a dumpster behind a bar in Illinois when his dad found him and closed the lid. A bartender sent him to a basement AA meeting where an old-timer grabbed him and wouldn't let go - not through five years of drinking in meetings, not through a gunshot, not through a psych ward. Wayne fired his sponsor after year one, sponsored himself into a seven-year depression, then finally did the steps the way they're written and went from the bottom of the barrel to graduating a police academy.
Wayne B. from Santa Monica, CA speaking at ORC 2000 Program - March 1st 2000Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 
 

From Eight Years of Warming a Chair to Finally Reading the Book - AA Speaker - Bart R.

Bart spent eight years in AA meetings without raising his hand once - until someone's sponsor made him so angry from the podium that he showed up at the guy's store the next morning ready to fight, and walked out two hours later with a sponsor and a big book.We just launched our new Episodes page — search hundreds of AA speaker meetings by topic, speaker, or step ☀️  Sober Sunrise Episode Archive
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Bart came into AA in 1987 and spent eight years going to meetings without ever working the steps, raising his hand, or getting a sponsor. He was so shy people offered him cash just to say his name. In 1995 he heard a speaker talk about being recovered, happy, and free - and it made him furious. He showed up at the guy's store the next morning to confront him, and two hours later he was reading the Big Book for the first time. Three months in, his sponsor sent him to work with a guy from a rehab who wanted to kill everyone in the room - and Bart watched him recover. That changed everything.
Bart R. from Long Beach, NY speaking at the Airmont group's 13th anniversary in Airmont, NY - July 18th 2008Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

Admitting It Ain't the Same as Fully Conceding It - AA Speaker - Mickey B.

 Mickey spent 40 years changing his perception of reality any way he could - starting as a kid in northwest London who took a dump in a confessional, and ending as a blackout drinker who woke up walking down a street in Spain after a night out in London.
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 Mickey B. breaks down the first three steps with the kind of clarity that made him one of the most quoted speakers in AA rooms worldwide. He draws a sharp line between admitting you're an alcoholic and fully conceding it, explains why "powerless over people, places and things" has nothing to do with the program, and walks through what hitting bottom actually is - an inside job, not an outside circumstance. This is a two-part workshop recorded in Copenhagen in 2009.
Mickey B. from London, UK speaking about steps 1, 2 and 3 at the Men Among Men Group's first conference in Copenhagen, Denmark - August 8th 2009Music: Deep by KaizanBlu