Sober Sunrise - AA Speaker Podcast

Admitting It Ain't the Same as Fully Conceding It - AA Speaker - Mickey B.

 Mickey spent 40 years changing his perception of reality any way he could - starting as a kid in northwest London who took a dump in a confessional, and ending as a blackout drinker who woke up walking down a street in Spain after a night out in London.
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 Mickey B. breaks down the first three steps with the kind of clarity that made him one of the most quoted speakers in AA rooms worldwide. He draws a sharp line between admitting you're an alcoholic and fully conceding it, explains why "powerless over people, places and things" has nothing to do with the program, and walks through what hitting bottom actually is - an inside job, not an outside circumstance. This is a two-part workshop recorded in Copenhagen in 2009.
Mickey B. from London, UK speaking about steps 1, 2 and 3 at the Men Among Men Group's first conference in Copenhagen, Denmark - August 8th 2009Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

From Nine Varsity Letters to Everything I Own in a Cardboard Box - AA Speaker - Frank J.

Frank quit drinking for 13 months without ever stepping foot in an AA meeting - by the end he was choking a stranger in an office and throwing groceries across a store before someone finally told him his problem wasn't drinking anymore, it was living.
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Frank grew up in small-town Illinois, joined the Marines at 17 because he was too scared to go to college, and spent the next two decades fighting, drinking, and walking through everyone's life. After the Marine Corps, the police department, and a real estate fortune he drank away, he ended up homeless and dying - and his parents had him committed. He white-knuckled 13 months with no meetings and had a nervous breakdown before someone finally told him drinking wasn't his problem anymore, living was.
Frank J. from Sherman Oaks, CA speaking at the Chippewa Valley roundup in Eau Claire, Wisconsin - 2001Music: Deep by KaizanBlu

My Ego Wants Me Dead but Will Settle for Me Drunk - AA Speaker - Peter M.

Peter went through seven treatment centers, lived on the streets of Lower Manhattan, and cursed God with everything he had - then begged Him for help from the same hallway a few weeks later.
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Peter grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, lost his mother to the disease as a kid, and chased alcohol from age 14 through seven rehabs, the Brooklyn waterfront, and the streets of Lower Manhattan. His dad kept showing up - locking the door one day, coming back to rescue him the next - until the night he drove back from South Jersey on a gut feeling and found his son running the streets. Peter got sober in Minnesota in 1988 and built a life on continuous step work, prayer, and meditation that goes far deeper than just not drinking.
Peter M. from Union, NJ speaking at the Gopher State Roundup in Minneapolis, MN - May 29th 2005Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

You Cannot Believe the Glory That's Available to You - AA Speaker - Frank M.

Frank is a recovered attorney with 30-plus years sober who still writes a full Fourth Step inventory every single year - and he brought his latest one to the podium to read it out loud.
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Frank is a Colorado lawyer who stole from clients, blacked out through court appearances, and played bar games that made him sick to his stomach once the fog cleared. Decades sober, he still does the steps annually and walked the room through his latest written inventory column by column - resentments, ego, and the amends that came out of it. This is a nuts-and-bolts Big Book talk from a guy who treats the steps like power tools, not theory.
"Big" Frank M. from Denver, CO speaking at Top O' Top Roundup - October 10th 1996Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 
 

I Was Mr. AA on the Outside and Gasping for Air on the Inside - AA Speaker - Chris P.

Chris walked out of a 28-day rehab with every reason in the world not to drink and didn't make it five minutes off the train before he was in a bar.
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Chris  spent 17 years drinking a fifth of vodka a day while climbing the corporate ladder in management consulting. After a blackout car accident that killed another person, he cycled through mental wards, detoxes, and rehabs - still unable to stop. It took getting dragged out of a hotel by fellow AA members, doing his steps in the back of a parking lot, and eventually working his program from inside a prison cell to finally build the spiritual foundation that keeps him sober today.
Robert "Chris" P. from Newark, NJ speaking at the Spiritual Awakenings Group in Bernardsville, NJ - January 22nd 2008Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

I Was Everything in AA Except Working the Steps - AA Speaker - Jay P.

Jay P. spent a year and a half making coffee, cleaning ashtrays, and giving speeches he stole from other people's meetings - until someone told him he was a phony and about to get drunk.
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Jay grew up in Cleveland, bouncing between reformatories before his first drink at 13 changed everything. He burned through the Navy, the Merchant Marine, and a marriage before landing on a stranger's doorstep 1,200 miles from home. In AA he did all the right things for a year and a half - then a fellow member called him out, he cracked open the Big Book, and four days later his life was different.
Jay P. from Myrtle Beach, SC at Northern Illinois Area Spring Conference - March 22nd 1997Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

Sobriety Is a Doing Process Not a Learning Process - AA Speaker - Don M.

Don went to 18 asylums and spent two years believing AA couldn't work because he was simultaneously too magnificent and too terrible — until they told him the Big Book isn't a philosophy, it's an instruction manual.
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Don grew up on a tobacco farm in Kentucky, fell in love with the honky-tonk heroes in the beer joints at age seven, and chased that image for 25 years through law school, a destroyed practice, and a car wreck at 130 that broke both legs and separated his pelvis. His brain would tell him AA couldn't work because he was too complex — and in the very next heartbeat tell him it couldn't work because he was too broken. He believed both every time. When he stumbled back to the door they said he'd been criticizing the literary style and quoting the book while he was dying — and that sobriety is a doing process, not a learning process. He did the steps like taking penicillin: didn't understand it, didn't believe it, did it anyway. Nine years sober he was still miserable until he realized he'd been trying to put out a fire with gasoline — treating a self-centered illness with more obsession on self. Today every crazy idea he's ever had introduces itself as common sense, and the only therapy for not wanting to do the right thing is doing it anyway.
Don M. from Louisville, KY speaking at the North Dakota Northern Spring Roundup in Grand Forks, ND - 2001Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

AA Gives You Riches That Nobody Can Take Away - AA Speaker - Ken B.

Ken spent 18 months going to AA meetings without believing he was an alcoholic — until a sponsor showed him that one drink meant he couldn't keep a promise to himself, and everything clicked.
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Ken started drinking in a park on the south side of Cleveland at 15 and loved bars so much he bought one. He danced through seven DWIs and a vehicular homicide charge without anyone ever addressing his drinking, called home every day at 3 saying he'd be there at 3:30, and never once made it — because one drink turned into the whole night every single time. He went to AA on a court order, led meetings before he even thought he was an alcoholic, and spent 18 months faking it until a sponsor in the back of the room stood up and said "keep doing what you're doing and you'll be drunk in two weeks." That man became his sponsor, handed him a card with a dime taped to it, and told him to find three people to learn from — one for the program, one for God, and one for fatherhood. Today Kevin's been married 48 years, raised two sons who show up for their mother every day, and says AA won't make you wealthy but it gives you riches nobody can take away.
Ken B. from Parma, OH speaking at the C.A.H. group in Euclid, OH - December 28th 2008Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

Things Got Worse Faster Than I Could Lower My Standards - AA Speaker - Tim W.

Tim was 38, sleeping under a freeway bridge, and begging for wine money when his mom said she couldn't watch him die — today he runs the same central office where a stranger once welcomed him in without flinching.
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Tim showed up drunk at his mother's door at 38 years old and told her not to worry — she told him she couldn't watch him die and gave him twenty bucks. He spent half on wine and half on a bus ticket back to Sacramento. When a drinking buddy suggested Santa Barbara, they got separated on arrival and Tim went looking for him at AA, where a woman at central office treated him with a kindness he never forgot. Today Tim runs that same office. He takes meetings into a level-three prison yard where lifers carry the message to men who can't leave their cell block. He held a sponsee's hand as he died surrounded by an AA meeting at his bedside. And one afternoon he answered two phone calls — a sober woman who needed someone to talk to and a young woman who couldn't stop drinking — and connected line one to line two, because that's how it works the best.
Tim W. from Santa Barbara, CA speaking at the Third Tradition Speaker Meeting in Studio City, CA - May 1st 2005Music: Deep by KaizanBlu
 

I Ran Out of Lies and All My Toughness Just Went Away - AA Speaker - Don P.

Don P. has been sober since 1967, served as a world trustee of AA, and says the greatest promise of the program isn't that you'll stop drinking — it's that you'll become useful.
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In this two-part weekend talk, Don P. shares over 30 years of sobriety with the depth of someone who died on Christmas night 1967 and woke up in a body that wouldn't quit. He found a dollar in the snow on Christmas Eve, bought a nine-foot tree for a seven-foot ceiling, and his little boy wrapped everything in the house in blue paper towels because there was nothing else. His father met him at the door and said his mother couldn't stand watching him die — then snuck them into the basement anyway. He got sober in a penitentiary where smiling inmates with numbers on their chests read him the Big Book and told him to shut up and listen for five weeks. Years later on an airplane, he watched a flight attendant pour wine and his mind said "that looks good" with no thought of alcohol at all — and a prayer started in him that he didn't start. Today he reads the Big Book out loud to people because that's how it was brought to him, and he says if you want to get closer to God, get closer to His children.
Don P. from Aurora, CO doing a step workshop in Slidell, LA - December 5th-7th 1997Music: Deep by KaizanBlu