Sober Sunrise - AA Speaker Podcast

I Put Beepers on My Beer Because I Kept Losing It - AA Speaker - Tami F.

Tami went to treatment to quit drugs but told her husband she'd leave the car at 65 mph if he suggested she quit drinking — then a tin cross, Psalm 23, and Board 23 started connecting dots she couldn't explain.
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Tami chased a euphoric feeling from her first sip of Purple Passion at 12 and spent the next two decades building a life that looked fine from the outside — husband, four kids, ten years at Ford — while the drinking came first every single time. She put beepers on her beer because she kept losing it, sought out what she thought was cocaine at 36 with two babies at home, and developed drug-induced schizophrenia taking pictures of electricity in her attic. Her sister had a church praying for her. At Valley Hope she lied her way to a tin cross, then felt a pang of guilt that wouldn't leave — so she went back to chapel for real and heard Psalm 23 for the first time. She was in Room 23. Months later she threw a vial of dust into the river from Board 23. A year after that she heard Deuteronomy 9:21 — "I crushed it into a powder as fine as dust and threw it in the stream" — and pulled her van over sobbing. Today the pink cloud hasn't left and her little girl thinks the Lord's Prayer starts with "Our Father who draws in heaven."
Tami F. from Olathe, KS speaking at NE Johnson County group in Overland Park, KS - July 9th 2010
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Save Me a Seat Were the Last Words I Said to My Sponsor - AA Speaker - Mike M.

Mike was a street drunk, a junior high dropout, and a petty criminal who once demanded 100 cheeseburgers at hammer-point — until a guy named Dan shook his hand, took him to meetings every night for six months, and showed him the book that changed everything.
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Mike grew up watching his mother drain a bottle of whiskey she'd promised to pour out, got thrown out of Catholic school at 10 by a nun who told him to leave and don't come back, and took that as God saying the same thing. He spent his drinking years sleeping in strangers' unlocked cars, breaking into basements looking for a place to sleep, and getting hauled into court for crimes so absurd the whole room laughed while he stood there shaking. He once tried to rob a liquor store, saw a sign about mandatory five-year sentences, and bought a six-pack instead. A guy named Dan showed up at his door, shook his hand, and took him to meetings every night for six months. Mike read the Big Book under a kitchen table in a cockroach-infested apartment and fell in love with it that first night. At three weeks sober, Dan told him to go talk to a newcomer — and when their hands touched, Mike stopped being a useless human being for the first time in his life. He had Dan as a sponsor for all 31 years, told him he loved him at the VA hospital, said save me a seat, and walked out. Dan died two days later.
Mike M. from Brunswick, MD speaking at the Rosemont Group, Frederick, MD - July 20th 2009
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The First Time I Told the Truth I Didn’t Catch Fire - AA Speaker - Tony K.

After years of drinking, hiding, and trying to outsmart alcoholism, Tony K. found hope through his sober brother, a first AA meeting he didn’t want to attend, and a program that changed his life.
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Tony K. shares a raw and funny story of how alcohol became the answer to pain he could not face, beginning at 17 after family upheaval and quickly turning into a full-speed descent that left him isolated, angry, and spiritually empty. Even though he swore he would never become like the alcoholics in his family, drinking gave him instant relief, false confidence, and a way to numb everything he could not handle, until it slowly tore his life apart. The turning point came through watching his older brother change in Alcoholics Anonymous, then finally saying yes to a meeting himself, where one person simply listened and gave him hope. From there, Tony found sponsorship, worked the steps honestly, and discovered real freedom through inventory, truth-telling, service, and staying in the moment. It’s a powerful young-person sobriety talk about fear, ego, brotherhood, and what happens when someone finally becomes willing.
Tony K. from Auburn, CA speaking at the ACYPAA roundup in Sacramento, CA - April 5th 2008
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I Loved Blackouts Because I Was Neither Dead Nor Really Alive - AA Speaker - Damon G.

Damon was a militant atheist who chased blackouts as his only escape from a life he didn't want — the steps didn't just get him sober, they sent him to seminary.
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Damon was spiritually sick long before alcohol showed up — the ruined relationships and lost jobs were already happening. When he found what booze could do, he chased blackouts six or seven nights a week because they were the closest thing to not existing without having to die. When that stopped working, he crawled into AA and almost walked right back out after hearing people with decades who sounded just as miserable as he felt. A sponsor who pounded the table about doing more showed him the book, and Damon walks through all 12 steps across four sessions with the precision of someone who thinks his way into corners and had to think his way out. From the claw in Union Square that was really trying to lead him somewhere better, to returning a box of stolen library books so old they couldn't scan them, to spontaneously grabbing his shoes and running out to church with his father for the first time — the man who would have taken his own life to avoid anything religious ended up in seminary, not because he found a belief system but because the steps gave him an experience he still can't describe.
Damon G. from Bay Shore, NY. Four night step-work covering all 12 steps at the Primary Purpose Group in Seaford, NY – February 5th thru February 26th, 2011. 
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I Got Fired Twice From the Same Job in 24 Hours - AA Speaker - Josh H.

Josh got sober at 19 after a carbon monoxide attempt, a psych ward, and getting fired twice from the same job in 24 hours — and discovered that the same program he came to as a last resort became the first place that ever felt like home.
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Josh was adopted from the Philippines, took his first drink at 10 — vodka and Kool-Aid at a party where he told a cop his name was Richard Head and walked free — and chased that moment for nine years through heroin, a psych ward, solitary confinement, and a carbon monoxide attempt where strangers found him moments before it was too late. He got fired twice from the same job in 24 hours, came to in the Mojave Desert, and walked into AA at 19 because he figured if sobriety didn't work the pain would finish him off. At six years sober he went back and made amends to the people who saved his life — the woman behind the desk started crying and said "no, it was you." The kid who never had a home finally found one.
Joshua H. from Toronto, Ontario, Canada speaking at the 2007 Arizona State Young People's Conference in Pheonix, AZ - November 24th 2007
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The Bomb Went Off at 16 Years and the Only Thing Left Was the Meeting - AA Speaker - Steve B.

Steve B. never got one sober day before AA, tried his own plan of drinking three days and giving four to the program, and 28 years later still has a voice in his head trying to talk him into one drink — but the steps gave him something the voice can't touch.
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Steve B. loved AA from the minute he walked in — but that didn't stop him from trying his own plan first, drinking Friday through Sunday and giving Monday through Thursday to the program until the Sunday bled into Monday and the whole thing collapsed. He got sober in 1979 with World War II vets who had third-grade educations, did the steps out of the book exactly the way they said, and discovered that the guy with 30 days was his real hero, not the old-timers talking quantum physics about the traditions. At 16 years sober, his wife was cheating at the wedding and the bomb went off — he walked into his home group shattered, and a one-year-old arm came around his shoulder and nobody asked what step he was on. Today he sponsors guys, moved across the country for a ninth-step amend that turned into a whole new life, and closes every talk by reminding you that God gives everything back — but it's never yours again.
Steve B. from Mount Kisco, NY speaking in Copenhagen, Denmark - August 21st 2007
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Seven Years of Walking Into AA for Cake and Walking Back Out - AA Speaker - Larry T.

Larry T. started drinking Four Rose Whiskey at 11, bounced around with lowriders, and spent seven years walking into AA for cake and walking back out — until a Montana cowboy told him to get his own rusty rear to the meeting and everything changed
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Larry grew up in a small California house with a speed-fueled mom making afghans and a happy drunk dad sneaking through his bedroom window in refinery boots. He found alcohol at 11 and it shut off everything that made him feel different — but the window it opened got smaller every time he drank until there was no window left, just an obsession that maybe this time it would open again. He tore through lowrider bars, jails, a state hospital, a year in the penitentiary, and seven years of walking in and out of AA without ever touching the program. The Montana cowboy who kept showing up finally told him to walk himself to the meeting — and Larry walked 10 miles to get there. He made amends to the father he once hit and became his best friend, had Thursday chili with him until the day he died, and now dates his mom every week. When his daughter sat across from him covered in piercings and tattoos and asked what he was looking at, he said the most beautiful little girl he'd ever seen — and he learned that in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Larry T. from Los Angeles, CA speaking at the Aberdeen Wednesday Night Group's Quarterly Meeting in Aberdeen South Dakota - 2007
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Everyone Said My Case Was Too Special for the Regular Program - AA Speaker - Susan D.

Susan D. survived four treatment centers where everyone agreed her case was too special for the regular program — until a man with an eye patch told her the truth and she worked the steps like everyone else.
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Susan grew up in a house where her father gave her alcohol as a child, her mother gave her Valium so she could walk straight, and they called the crawlspace under the floor "bad girl jail." Down in that hole she'd dream about wood floors, a garage door that goes up and down, and being a mother where no child would ever be afraid. She lost her father, brother, and mother to tragedy before adulthood. Susan spent her adult life drinking without missing a single day, lying about everything, working in a psych hospital while hiding her own drinking, and cycling through treatment centers where everyone agreed her case was different. She drank a child's wart remover on a choir tour because she couldn't go a day without alcohol in her body. After her last crisis flatlined her in a treatment center, she called the one place with a man who'd told her the truth — and on the 11th day, they let her come back. She sat on the front row, worked the steps like everyone else, and discovered that none of what happened to her had to keep her sick. Today she lives in a house with wood floors and a garage door that goes up and down, and she flew to Ukraine to adopt a little girl who doesn't have to be afraid.
Susan D. from Dallas, TX speaking at the 20th Annual Singles Conference in Lake Murray, OK - September 4th-7th 2003
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They Pronounced Me Dead Twice and I Still Wasn't Done Drinking - AA Speaker - Dave M.

Dave M. entered a monastery to become a priest, fell in love with alcohol on his first beer, and spent the next decade hiding bottles behind medicine cabinets, teaching religion drunk, and dragging himself across the floor for one more broken bottle — until AA taught him to stay in God's wheelbarrow.
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Dave grew up a scared, scrawny hillbilly kid in Pennsylvania who fantasized about killing his abusive father and ran to the Catholic church because it was the only safe place he knew. He packed himself into two A&P shopping bags and entered a monastery to become a priest — and fell in love with alcohol on his very first beer, dancing through the halls in his underwear at 3am. He hid bottles behind the medicine cabinet wall, taught high school religion on tranquilizers, and spent years cycling through psych wards with his wrists slit. At his worst he was dragging himself through 17 cats' worth of filth to break a Stoney's bottle on the fridge drawer handle and drink it with glass cutting his lips. They pronounced him dead twice. An old-timer gave him a gold watch and told him to talk to God for 15 minutes a day in an empty chair, and another told him step three was simple — just stay in God's wheelbarrow no matter how shaky it gets on the wire. Today the man who once fantasized about his father's blood on his hands got to clean him, feed him, and love him before he died.
Dave M. from Painsville, OH speaking at the Collinwood Liberty Group's 59th Anniversary meeting in Cleveland, OH - March 20th 2009
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From Federal Prison at 18 to Calling Home at Six Years Sober - AA Speaker - Robbie W.

Robbie went from federal prison at 18 to getting kicked out of his own AA club at three months sober — until a pig farmer from Michigan took him home and said someday you're going to be somebody.
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Robbie grew up loved in a Catholic family in Philadelphia, fit in everywhere, and started drinking at a Yes concert in eighth grade. Within a few years he was giving himself raises at a federal bank, got arrested by the FBI at 18, and spent the next five years cycling through jails, prisons, psych wards, and the streets. He cut his arms open in a prison hole and woke up tied to a bed with cameras on him — and still wasn't done drinking. When he finally crawled into an Alano club in Kalamazoo, Michigan, they kicked him out at three months for his attitude. A pig farmer named Don C. walked out behind him, put him in his truck, and said welcome home, son. Nine months later Robbie was sober, working, and building a life. At six years he called his mom and asked if he could come home for Christmas — she said they were just waiting for him to ask. His dad knelt down and handed him an Eagles jersey with his name on the back. Today Robbie sells cars, sponsors men, served as a delegate, and has a daughter whose picture is all over his Big Book.
Robbie W. from Vineland, NJ speaking at the Aberdeen Wednesday Night Group's Quarterly Meeting in Aberdeen, SD - 2007
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